by Derek Lovell |
Spending your life with someone is one of the most sought after dreams amongst us all. We all want love and most are eager to show their love in many different ways. This doesn’t mean that things are always roses and butterflies, however.
1) You Don’t See Eye To Eye
The common argument or fight within a relationship is typically due to not seeing eye to eye with one another in some form. One partner in the relationship has one view, opinion or personal expectations while the other has their own. In the end, it all comes down to each individual wanting control. Is that so bad?
2) There’s No Balance
There needs to be a balance between compromise and living your own experience at the same time. We will not feel like fulfilled, powerful individuals if we are always allowing our partners to have control over us or if we are always compromising our experience to suit their needs. At the same time, if we don’t respect that our partners are living their own experience and compromise as well, we will be left in a constant battle for control.
3) Unreasonable Expectations
Expectations within a relationship can be draining and quickly unfulfilling. The expectations that we have for our partner places so much pressure on them that most will resist providing what their partner is looking for all together. When we let go of what we feel our partner should be doing and just accept anything they have to offer us as a gift, the energy within the relationship goes from one partner servicing the other, to a space of sharing love. Think about it, would you rather make a nice dinner for your partner out of love, or because they expected it of you? The same applies to the contrary, so allow for your partner to provide for you when they feel called to do so, not when you feel that they should. For more on expectations within a relationship, read this article.
4) You Don’t Have Your Own Agreements
Finding your own agreements within a relationship is one of the healthiest way to grow and be at peace within the companionship. Agreements vary between relationships as it is important that they be true to each individual and that specific relationship as a whole. Examples of agreements range from, who cooks and who cleans, to an agreement to be in an open sexual relationship. It is all about finding what is important and what feels right to you.
5) You Haven’t Accepted Other Perspectives
A relationship coach can be beneficial to most couples as there are typically issues that continue to present themselves within any partnership. Having an unbiased view and understanding of a relationship from the outside can be very powerful for the couple. Relationship coaching is not couples therapy, focusing on what you are unhappy with and dwelling on the past will only manifest more of these negative energies for the two of you. Working with a coach can assist you both in seeing eye to eye with each other, coming up with agreements that are relevant to you as a team and helping to break down some expectations that may be coming between you two.
Is it time to let go of the baggage and reach the potential you have as a couple? If you feel unfulfilled, uninspired or are in need of more balance within your relationship, coaching could be for you.
by Derek Lovell