by Arjun Walia |
One of the biggest problems many of us face today are the opinions and perceptions others have about us. Constantly living our lives according to how others will perceive us holds us back from experiencing true freedom, as well as recognizing and maximizing our full potential and being ourselves. You don’t need anyone’s approval, follow your heart and enjoy the journey.
Where does “caring about what others think about us” come from?
Why are we self conscious? It stems from the idea that there is a certain way to be, a certain way to look, a certain way to act and rules to be followed when it comes to social interaction, life and other human tendencies. It’s only when we begin to question these things, step outside of ourselves and take the perspective of the ‘observer’ that we can truly see how robotic our society is, and how we are all programmed to be the same.
Mass media and marketing has definitely played a role in shaping the perception of the human mind, I like to refer to it as perception manipulation, and it happens on many different scales. I actually believe there is a sufficient amount of evidence to associate this with the CIA’s MK Ultra program, but that’s another topic.
We are constantly bombarded with the idea that “this is the way life is,” and you have to conform to it. This couldn’t be further from the truth, at any time you can choose to leave the “normal” life, to build and create something else that resonates with you. No one is saying the journey will be easy, but the journey itself will be full of many great lessons.
Many people, starting from a young age, have not felt comfortable “fitting in,” or being “normal.” As a result, others take notice and it becomes very hard for that individual to be themselves and ignore the judgements of others. They can also create a false identity simply from the desire to be “non-conformant.” From the day we are born, we are told how the world works and what we need to do to survive in it. If someone questions these teachings, a finger is instantly pointed at them which prevents them from fully being themselves.
So, where does “caring what others think about us” stem from? Again it stems from the idea that there is a certain way to be, do things and live your life. A completely false belief that prevents the world from moving forward. There is no way to be, there is no way to act, and as long as you come from a place of peace, love and neutrality (non-judgement), then you are free to do whatever you’d like.
It’s perfectly normal for someone to not want to work a 9-5 job, come home and repeat the same routine. You get a job, so you can afford to have a life, but then you spend all of your time at work and end up with no time to live the life you’re working for. Doesn’t make much sense does it? In the meantime, we remain blind and ignorant to what is really happening on our planet. Truth is, it doesn’t have to be this way.
So, if you do not resonate with this way of life and want change, you’re not alone, and you don’t need to be concerned with what anybody else thinks about it. Don’t be afraid to be yourself and do what you want to do, don’t hold yourself back because of the opinions of others. Ultimately, being yourself and letting go of what others think about you is a great lesson for them, and you.
Where do others judgements stem from?
Many people are so used to judging everything, not just people, but situations, experiences and more, that they are not even consciously aware of it. When we judge others, it usually stems from observing that individual, what they do, what they say, what they wear, and putting meaning behind it. Yes, actions may speak louder than words, but the perception of an action can be viewed from multiple perspectives, it doesn’t mean your perspective of observation is correct. Developing a description of an individual based on these observations, and defining them based on these qualities and observations usually holds very little truth.
Judgements often reflect the qualities and characteristics of the individual that’s doing the judging, not you.
What you choose to see in another is usually a reflection of you. This is not to say that others observations hold no validity. Refusing to acknowledge others observations of you, and concepts that might be holding you back in your own life can be a problem. Ignoring the “judgements” of others can sometimes be a defense mechanism. It’s a good idea to take in what others observe in you, maybe you can learn and grow from these observations, maybe they see something in you that you are having trouble observing in yourself?
How to let it go?
The first step is to realize that judgements do not describe who you are, whatsoever. If someone else likes to say “she is this, or he is that,” just remember that it’s not true. You are not defined by someone else, what another person thinks of you is really none of your business.
Recognize that everyone else is just another part of you. See them as an extension of you, entangled in this miraculous web of life. We are all small single cells of one giant organism, we are all literally one. If we choose to try to understand the actions or tendencies of others, instead of judging them, it can open up many doors, new experiences and provide great lessons to the people involved.
Lastly, if you find yourself in a position where someone else is judging you, don’t come from the place of “forget them,” instead respond from a place of understanding, a place of kindness. Do not feed the energy of judgement with angry, or negative emotions.
Realize that what you see in another is often a reflection of your current inner state at the time you are making the judgement. And last but not least, be honest with yourself. You know yourself better than anybody else does.
by Arjun Walia