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Is your Relationship Togetherness or Possession?

It’s been awhile since you have been in the dating game but you are back with a vengeance. And happily you have met someone that you are getting serious about. The calls last to all hours of the morning even though the two of you have to get up early.

You spend weekends together sharing life experiences along with your hopes and dreams for the future. Neither of you has had it easy but you’re hanging in there and the fact that the two of you have found each other makes every moment you spend together that much better.

But the thought has passed through your mind a time or two that may be you and your dating partner spend too much time together. You get an uncomfortable feeling that a certain amount of neediness is creeping into the relationship. Yet it does not stop there.

You also think that neediness is turning into possession. It is not just that you hate to be away from your dating partner but you find yourself having certain thoughts that border on unhealthy jealousy.

Take into consideration a few things:

The Court Room

When you and your dating partner get together after an absence, how do you go about asking them questions? Is it just a general what have you been up to or does it turn into a serious cross examination. You want to know all the details and if something does not add up from your perspective you find yourself going over their testimony again until you are fully satisfied.

The Panic

You don’t see them for a day or even two. How do you handle it? Longing to be with them is one thing but letting their absence take you on an emotion roller coaster ride is another. Does your mind start racing towards some jealous thoughts?  Or does it get to the point where you have to get in touch with them not to see how they are doing but alleviate your fears or confirm your suspicions?

The Mood

When you and your dating partner do get together, they cannot help but notice your mood has changed. They ask you if anything is wrong. You tell them know (which is a lie) or you let your emotions get ahead of your logic and tell them how you felt when they were away.  Your partner may appreciate that you missed them but your tone and body language could also tell them they are going to have trouble with you in the near future.

It’s good to be in love but keep in mind the best way to destroy a relationship is to smother it. If your dating partner has strong feelings for you and vice versa enjoy it while giving the relationship space and time to blossom. That space and time will also help you from driving yourself crazy.

Daryl Campbell



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