by Derek Lovell |
Attention-Seeking Through Social Media
Have you ever asked yourself why you’re REALLY posting something? If it’s for attention, you might be doing it for the wrong reasons. Selfies are often designed to provide reassurance and approval, they’re the most effective “look-at-me” tool there is. Leaving your happiness in the hands of others with their “likes” and comments, which creates an unhealthy state of mind. What happens when you don’t get the number of likes you were hoping for?
Inability To Be Alone & The Need To Be Busy
I used to hate being alone, I now not only appreciate my down time, but LOVE it. Make time for you to be in silence, at peace and alone at least once a week.
Being busy is like a badge of honor these days, packing our calendars with social plans can give a sense of pride. I used to do the same, but now I save my energy and time for people that I really want to hang out with, and I never go a week without having some time to myself.
Continuing Toxic Relationships & Friendships
Instead of staying in relationships that don’t serve you, pull the plug and find genuine people to spend your time with, or spend it alone! No one deserves to be in a bad relationship or a one-sided, toxic friendship. Staying in it is a sign that you don’t value yourself enough.
Nitpicking & Defensive
When you’re not grounded, you have a built-up energy that is ready to burst out at the first opportunity. The result? Picking a fight or starting an argument with someone. From my experience, the worst naggers are those who are the least settled.
If you’re comfortable in your own skin, chances are you don’t get riled up or respond to accusations. The most settled people I know tend to take conflict with a “grain of salt” and use it to grow.
Depending On A Relationship
Looking for your relationship to fulfill you will do nothing but place pressure on your partnership and leave you feeling a void if that relationship were to fall apart. Being comfortable in your own skin, understanding your personal values and beliefs is an important understanding for a healthy relationship.
Obsessing About The Number On The Scale
I know it sounds a bit fluffy, but you really do need to love your whole self. Happiness is just as important as physical health, and happiness comes, in part, from being comfortable in your skin. This is probably one of the biggest challenges I work through with my clients in a coaching session.
Learning to accept yourself for you and everything that you are is tough sometimes. I’ve come to notice that where people don’t seem to have self worth either physically or mentally, tends to be one of their strongest assets. We build up so many stories in our minds of who or how we think we should look and that alone has come in the way of seeing how strong and beautiful we actually are.
If you are unhappy about your body, put the time into bringing some peace of mind to yourself. Join yoga, start a fitness challenge, check out the benefits of juicing or try a month without alcohol!
Worrying too much about what others think
When you’re unbalanced, you tend to worry about other people too much — when what you really need to do is look inward and address what’s throwing you off. No matter what you do in life, you can’t please everyone, and people will talk. But who cares? What others say about you is none of your business. I love the idea of self-development, the way I see it is if you want the best in life you need to put time and effort into making yourself the best version you can be. Go on, give it a go!
by Derek Lovell