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The Power of Letting Go of the Need to Know Why

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We have all been baffled at one point or another trying to understand and question why certain things unfold in our lives as they do. There have been countless times in my own personal life where I have gone over and over certain scenarios that have unfolded wondering, “How could this have happened? And why?!” More often than not, the answer doesn’t usually come in the moment of mental struggle but weeks or months later after I have surrendered and let go of the need to know.

Why is letting go of the need to know, “why,” so liberating? Because often times we don’t have the answer and it’s OK to, “not know.” Trying to understand and intellectualize every situation that unfolds (especially those situations that rub the Ego-mind the wrong way) is more often than not a form of control.

When things happen to us that our beyond our intellectual mind and understanding, our mind goes out of control trying to, “figure it all out.” As a result, we take ourselves out of the present moment and scramble out of fear to make sure that that particular situation never happens again. The fact that we don’t know why it happened in the first place creates a greater need to become more in control over our lives than ever. In turn, we stay hostage to the situation, which then keeps us from moving forward with ease and love.

Doing the inner work around our life experiences, especially those that are painful or baffling are very important. This is where we can often break a lifetime’s worth of unhealthy patterns and cycles. Many answers can lie in questioning certain events if we are meant to know at that point in time.

But if it becomes a struggle to understand and the answers aren’t coming easily that’s when the act of surrender and saying, “I don’t know,” is so powerful. We can speculate, question and not accept what has happened but that isn’t always the best solution or the one that is needed or necessary.

In the wake of recent events in Connecticut and the numerous tragedies that occur all over the planet daily, we are often left wondering why such atrocious experiences happen. The truth is, is that we may not ever know why.  The Ego-Mind needs to know why in order to stay in control and in power. To surrender and to not know is an act of defeat to the Ego-Mind.

The job of the Ego-Mind is to protect you from any threat or painful experience from happening again. If it can, “figure it out,” than it can figure out a way to protect you. Surrender as easy as it sounds, can be met with much adversity and strain as the Ego-Mind puts up plenty of resistance instead of letting things go in order to move forward. This is why admitting and repeating, “I don’t know,” over and over again can assist you in releasing the need to know why.

Surrender and not knowing is a way to release our struggle. Remember to trust that life has a flow and that everything that is happening whether it is positive or negative, is in fact completely for our highest good. Sometimes, the not knowing is in our highest. Take what you can from your life experiences and learn from them.  Whatever is leftover that perplexes you; let it go to the Universe or your Higher Self to work through. Feel the freedom and the liberation that occurs as a result.


Vanessa Petronelli B.A., W.W.H.P. & Certified Yoga and Mindfulness Teacher

From an early age Vanessa knew that her path in life would revolve around specializing in several areas of human growth and development including “deprogramming,” from limiting belief systems, detachment from ego and self-love. She is a life coach and healer, teaches yoga and meditation and facilitates workshops and retreats.

Her passion and purpose is to assist in humanity’s evolution in consciousness through the facilitation of coaching, providing healings, writing and teaching yoga/meditation.

You can read more about Vanessa’s services by viewing her website here: www.openheart-openmind.ca





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